Each night I stare at the sky
the thousands of twinkling stars
and I imagine you there
dancing among the Moonbeams.

And the tears flow like rain
as I think of the time we were together
I am broken now, lost without you
But I know, the thing that will always connect us
are our Heartstrings

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Funny Farm Phone

I was perusing through Amazon looking for a gift(s) for Ava Beth who will be 6 on the fifth. Had she arrived less than an hour later she would have been born on 6-6-6, her brothers claim if you considered Eastern time, she was, which explains her personality.

I digress. So Amazon makes some movie recommendations for me. The movie Funny Farm was suggested. And, that reminded me of a story . . .

Several years ago I owned and operated from my home a temporary agency. It was ok, but the big boys were moving in. I was offered, and taken over by one of them. I was made an area manager, given a big salary (for the time) and was to set up my own office.

The day came that the office was ready to go, and all I needed was the phone to be hooked up. I was beginning to wonder if they were ever going to make it and my boss was waiting on my call. The guy finally came, hooked me up and took off. I picked up the phone, dialed my boss's number and heard; Please deposit .25 cents for your call to be connected. WTF! I hung up and tried again, and a third time, same message every time. Ok, I will just call the operator and have her connect me. So I give the operator the number and she says, please deposit .25 cents and I will connect your call. OMG I explained that this was an office phone, she said you will have to deposit .25 or I can't connect your call. Hmm, ok, where do you want me to deposit the money? In the coin slots. There are no freakin coin slots, it isn't a payphone it is an office phone!!!!! I guess I sounded desperate because she finally connected me with a department that could help me, and yep, they had the number listed as a payphone. They had to switch stuff there, and a repairman had to come back out to get me hooked up correctly.

After I hung up from the phone company, I realized how funny the whole situation was. I left early to go home so I could call my boss. She didn't believe me because it was too bizarre. So she came down the next day when the phone guy was supposed to be there to check up on me (she was a bitch, I only lasted about 6 months), the repairman fixed the set up and explained it all to the boss.

I can't see the movie Funny Farm without remembering that.


Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Oh rats!

So, I see this picture on Face Book and it reminds me of a story . . . .

When we first moved into this house (it was Bill's great-grandparents and built in under a month January of 1930) the previous tenants, not sure how to put this, cleaning impaired. I was 9 months pregnant with Jessika, and it was February, not a real warm month.

Within a couple hours of settling in, Bill saw a rat. No, not a bad person, a real honest to goodness furry flea bitten rat! And that was the beginning, it was WAR!

I was still in high school when we married. Since I had some difficulty with the pregnancy, I was put on home rest and the school sent out tutors twice a week so I wouldn't be behind. Bill and also gotten me a toy poodle to keep me company, his name was Tinker (but that is a whole nother story). So my tutor comes, a very nice proper lady. We are in my lesson when Tinker went nuts and came tearing through the house chasing a rat. I opened the back door, they ran out, I grabbed a broom a followed them, leaving the tutor wide eyed and dropped jawed at the table. So after a lap around the yard (remember I am 9 months preggers), the rat ran under the trash barrels. I picked up Tink and looked for bites, he was fine, so I went back in and finished my lesson. Neither the tutor or I said anything about the chase.

Jessika came along. We were worried about the rats. Bill had put poison out, but we didn't want to take chances, so Jess slept in our room. One evening I was in the laundry room, I felt something soft under my foot, I assumed it was on of the stuffed animals Jessika had gotten (that Tink claimed as his own). I bent over to grab it while turning on the light. You guessed it, not a stuffed animal. I think the scream and my jump onto the dryer took about a sec. Bill heard and came in and took the dead rat out, we think he had gotten into the poison.

We were making a dent, but could still hear one digging under the floor of the kitchen. One night the digging started up and Bill was MAD. He got up and I went back to sleep. A short while later I realized Bill was not in bed. So I got up and headed into the kitchen. There was Bill. My white fuzzy robe, his work boots, a smoke on one side of his mouth and a shot gun and flashlight in his hands, just waiten on the rat to poke his head up. After a few minutes I was able to get him back to bed, I can't imagine the damage my kitchen would have incurred if that shotgun had gone off.

So, when I saw that picture it reminded me so much of that night. I miss those fun wild days and nights. The rats however can stay gone!!!


Monday, May 28, 2012

Camping Tales and a Broken Heart.

Well first I want to thank all the service men and women. Our experience at Christmas showed us what truly wonderful these guys are. My brother was a Marine, and served during Desert Storm. I am happy he is retired from the military and lives only a few hours from me. My heart goes out to all the parents who can't share this holiday with their children, and never will again. I have an idea how they feel.

Originally we planned to be camping this weekend. When we saw the weather reports for this weekend we decided to wait. I do not like to be miserable in a tent with no way to cool off.

The boys came out Friday afternoon. We were expecting the kids Friday evening. Their dad sent me a text saying his folks wanted them that night and he would bring them out Sat. morning. Then it was they wanted to go to a friends birthday party so he would bring them out Sat. evening, then is was they want to stay all night with the friend, he would bring them Sunday morning.  After I sent several texts, he got back with me Sun afternoon that they wanted to stay with him, he would bring them out Mon. so this morning I get a text, the kids don't want to come out so he is keeping them home. Right. Whatever. I pray no one else has to go through what we do just to see our grand kids. The only time they see their siblings is when they are here. Very sad.

We are in desperate need of rain, have missed all the systems that have gone through. The corn is firing which is something we normally don't see until August, not good. The wheat is ready and harvest will start tomorrow. It is a little scary cutting wheat when it is this dry, one spark and the whole field can go up in flames. Seen it happen a couple of times now with neighbors.

Had a great visit, as usual, with my boys. They set up a little pool for the  lil kids. The lil ones didn't get to use it but these three nuts did. The water temperature was a balmy 62 so they tortured each other pushing them in or splashing each other. We are in the process of draining our pool so we can put a new  liner in. The raccoons have had a little too  much fun in the pool, don't know if they fall in washing their food or if they just like to swim. If they are gonna do it, the least they can do is use the steps to get out. When they try to climb over the side they slash the liner. After patching it for the last several years it is time to replace it.

Speaking of raccoons. About 6 years ago, we took a family trip to South Carolina. Jessika, her husband, his son, our 3 grandsons and baby Ava. Charleston was first up and we spent 4 days there. Then we headed down to Edisto. The town is an "island", and there is a state park there, We had reserved 2 spots months in advance. Our spot was just the other side of the dune and we fell asleep to the sound of waves every night.

Our first night after setting up I got up to use the portapotty. We were surrounded by trees and brush so it was a very private site and due to the heat we left all of the windows down. So I am sitting there, minding my business and I feel someone staring at me. Yikes. I slowly turned my head around to the side of the tent which was all screen, and standing there on their hind legs watching me were 4 raccoons! Ok, heart you can slow down now. We got up the next morning and headed to get groceries so we could eat the next few days. We came back (it just outside the park) and started unpacking when I looked up, there was one of those little fences around our site, like a snow fence. There were rows of the little bandits watching us put our groceries away. I swear there was one there with a pad and pen taking notes! We spent the day on the beach, and at bedtime we all just crashed. When we got up the next morning we saw the raiders had been busy, bread, cookies, chips, and fruit and veggies from the cooler! They opened the cooler! After that we stacked things on the cooler so they couldn't get in. It was annoying, but funny too. Bill went to replace our goodies. We then stored the food in the back of the van where they couldn't get to it. A couple days before we were to leave, we all went crabbing. We got a crab trap and some food for bait and headed to an area where the ocean met fresh water, along the marshes. Rase and I spotted a shark in the water just off the dock when we first got there. He soon disappeared and the crabbing began. There were hundreds of little "tree/hermit" crabs running everywhere. The boys caught some and wanted to keep them. I said one, you can keep one, but whatever you do don't let it loose in the van. We headed back to camp to cook all the blue crabs we had, stopped and got some shrimp fresh off the boat also. Supper was heavenly. Even if we did have an audience. There had to have been well over a dozen raccoons standing around watching us. We took pity on them and gave them our scraps (like they weren't gonna go thru the trash to get them). When we had first gotten back to camp the boys stayed in the van. Now, it was 105, who  knows how hot with the heat index, but way to hot for them to be sitting in that van. I hollered for them to come on, they got out and all 3 of them were hanging their heads. Oh boy. So, I said what? They kind of stuttered around and finally the middle one says, you know how you told us not to lose the crab? Well, we lost it. For days we searched for that little crab, never did find it. I am guessing it jumped out at some point.

Ok, enough stories. It was a fun trip. I would love to do it again someday, without the heat. Thank you for reading along, this has lightened my mood quite a bit.


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Where is June

May is awful, too many bad memories here. I need June to move on.

We had all the kids last weekend, it was fun, it was sad, there was a lot of love, hugs and a few tears.

Saturday started off with a large bouquet of flowers delivered from all of the grandkids. Beautiful. The weather was great so we spent most of the day outside. Lots of work to do on the yard and many new trees to plant. The boys even broke the frisbee out to play. Later in the evening two of our friends and their girls came out to deliver another bouquet of flowers for me.

Sunday, the kids and I took a bouquet of flowers out to their Mom. This is where the tears started. As soon as we got there Rylan jumped out of the truck and started looking around. I was not aware neither he nor Ava Beth hadn't been there yet.

Slowly, with his head hanging in dissapointment, Rylan came up and said, "Bubbah, I can't see Heaven." Rase looked for tissues for me while I explained that we can't see Heaven until we get there. He seemed to accept that, so we took the flowers over and did a little housekeeping. We took a few pictures, and got ready to leave. Rylan started crying and yelling, "I don't want Mommy to have flowers over and over again, but wouldn't say why. We loaded up and ran a few errands then went home. Later in the evening Rylan started crying again and saying he didn't want Mommy to have flowers. Again, I asked why, he finally said, "I want her to come here to get them". Tears poured all the way around. I tried to explain she couldn't get them, but she would see them. Leave it to the innocense of a child to express what we all feel.

Throughout the last year I have learned many things. Some of them are the amazing capacity for tears that humans have. When you experience a loss, the pain never goes away, you just get accustomed to it. Children will always say what adults are thinking. You are stronger than you think you. Love never dies. A Mother's heart will never heal completely. When you are an advocate for your patient in the hospital you learn more and get better care. Never miss a chance to hug those you love or to tell them you love them.

Bill has decided to knockoff for Memorial Weekend. We are going to take the crew camping (tent), fishing and four-wheeler riding. We are all ready for some fun.

The back porch is about 50% cleaned. When we get it done I am so ready to make some soap. We are down to a few bars and I can't use commercial because of all the chemials. I also need to get some sunburn lotion and booboo cream made, as it is the season.

I am so far behind on movies, I now have quite a stack and plan on catching up starting tonight. Ok, not tonight, Bravo has some good shows on tonight. Anybody watch the Real Housewives of ? shows. I admit it, they are my guilty pleasure. If you do, and you watch the OC, answer this, does Vickies new boyfriend, Brooks, remind you of G. W. Bush when he talks? Well they aren't on tonight but the new Chef show is as is the season finally for the interior decorating show (yep like them too).

I saw a new doctor today for my knees since the other one had retired. Of course we had to do all the x-rays again. Guess what the diagnosis was, I need new knees! No shit sherlock. Can't happen cause I have no insurance nor do I have a hundred grand laying around. He did give me injections. My old doc would shoot in numbing stuff first, then the kenalog so it wouldn''t hurt so bad. I thought they all do that. Oh hell no. This guy goes straight for the kenalog behind the kneecap with no numbing. I bit my jaw to keep from screaming and tried not to pee my pants at the same time. Home now, in bed. PAIN Now this is pretty common for the first few days, but I sure wasn't expecting it to hurt this much so soon. Bill did bring in my camping porta potty and set it by the bed for me to use (this is because first time I had to tinkle I didn't make it cause it hurt to much to walk that far). Wonder if I can get him to make me some popcorn for my tv viewing pleasure, yeah and a coke, that sounds good. I don't usually drink pop, I am an iced tea girl all the way (I think I picked that up when I lived in Mississippi), but I just don't think tea "goes" with popcorn.

Till next time

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Life goes on

Dang, I am gone for a few weeks and now I don't even recognize Blogger, same with the new Timeline on Face Book. I must really be getting old, cause I always thought if it ain't broke - Don't mess with it.

Everything changes, life goes on, with or without us. I am still dazed but one of these days I will get caught up.

This weather has been wild. We have been lucky, we are very wet, but the warm temps and warm winds will have us back in the fields soon.

All my babies were her last weekend. Rylan had just been to the doctor with a 104 temp and had tonsillitis. Poor baby, he hung on me so I couldn't move. By Sunday he was filling much better and was a little stinker again. Rowdy started with a high temp Saturday night, and pretty much just laid around. Ava Beth was the next to fall on  Sunday.

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law came in for the weekend. They brought the little dog that used to be Jessika's so the kids could play with her. Was really sweet seeing Ava and the dog curled up together at bedtime. Michelle (sil) is staying with me. I have had some health problems, Bill is busy and I don't want to drag him away from doing stuff so Michelle is my driver, cook and nurse for a while. She is also a shoulder to cry on. Michelle was with me much of last summer when I was living in Springfield. Don't know what I would do without her. You know, my family has made no attempt to contact me since Jessika's service. I am not really surprised, but still. It's ok, I have made my own family with Bill, his family and friends, and my half-brother and step-mother. I refuse to be around anyone who does not make me feel good, alive, again.

We planted some trees last week in my "orchard". It is really just the back yard behind the garage. I didn't exactly plant either. I rode around on the four-wheeler and pointed where I wanted them. I set out 2 Fuji apple trees (I already had 3 apple trees, 2 peaches and 2 pears), 3 pear trees, 2 cherry trees, 3 white cherry trees, 2 pecans and a couple of decorative trees. I hope to enjoy the fruit in a few years and I know the grand kids will, someday it will be theirs.

Tomorrow we are going to the farmers store, I want 4 ferns to hang around the front porch. I love sitting out there early in the mornings. I take a pot of my favorite tea, a book or magazine, and enjoy the sounds and scents of nature. I am partial to the hummingbirds though. The barn swallows are back and putting their nest in the same place they have for years, but I haven't sited any hummers yet. My lilacs have bloomed and gone. I usually have them blooming around Memorial Day. Very strange weather.

We have begun thinking about a stone for Jessika. The boys are really wanting one. My holdup is that Jon wants a double stone for him and her. I don't. I want a single. He had her for 5 years, I had her for 35 and knowing what I know about them/him he doesn't deserve the double stone. He is just 40, odds are he will marry again and hopefully that will last more than 5 years, I don't think she would like him having a stone with he late wife. We will see. Sometimes things work out with a little patience and "encouraging words".

I still cry often. Not every day now. I think of Jessika every minute of every day, I talk to her, I close my eyes and remember how she would throw back her head to laugh, slip out a snort, look to see if anyone caught the snort, and go back to laughing. She is often in my dreams. Ava Beth says she likes to sleep here because she always dreams of her mommy when she is here. Rylan talks frequently about her when he is here. I am amazed at them, I ache for them. Life is so unfair, not only to lose their Mother, but to live in the situation as it is. My heart breaks for them, it also explains why Rylan doesn't let go of me when he is here.

Well now the eyes are full of tears and it is getting hard to see to type. So I will say Good Night. Love your kids and hug them every chance you get.
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