Each night I stare at the sky
the thousands of twinkling stars
and I imagine you there
dancing among the Moonbeams.

And the tears flow like rain
as I think of the time we were together
I am broken now, lost without you
But I know, the thing that will always connect us
are our Heartstrings

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

We lost more than Jessika

Last night I was laying in bed watching TV, Bill was in the living room. He hollered the kids are here. I yelled back, good I hope Jess is with them. Then I realized what I had said, and broke down, Bill got pretty watery too and reminded me Jess is with them. It took a while to stop the tears, but my heart is still heavy.

I was on FB earlier, and someone posted a link to a dance studio where Ava took lessons. I clicked on it to see if they had any pictures, they did.

It is hard enough that we lost Jess, but we have lost so much of the kids lives also. Lance usually tags me in pics so at least I get to see ones of the boys, but nothing on the little ones. We were not invited to Ava's grandparents day, and we knew nothing of all the performances I found out she was in. I am going to try and contact one of the mother's and see if they can let us know about events we might want to see. I spent close to an hour going through pictures and here I will share a couple of them. Yes, I am a very proud grandma, of all my babies.


 Rase with 2 players and Mike Matheny's wife @ a tournament in St. Louis They came in second!
Ava at cheer

Ava and fellow cheerleaders

Ava, front right

Rase at sweetheart dance

Stay Cool!


  1. that makes me feel angry that you are not keep abreast of the activities and events in your grandkids lives. I fear the same thing coming down the road with two of my grandkids.

  2. I'm so sorry that he treats you and Bill like that! And you have every right to be proud, Grandma. I honestly believe when the two youngest ones get older and understand a little bit more they will make sure you are included! As for the ex son in law Karma is a bitch!


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