Each night I stare at the sky
the thousands of twinkling stars
and I imagine you there
dancing among the Moonbeams.

And the tears flow like rain
as I think of the time we were together
I am broken now, lost without you
But I know, the thing that will always connect us
are our Heartstrings

Friday, November 30, 2012

I am here

Well, here I am another month gone by without me blogging. I have no real excuse. I just get tired of writing sad stuff, so I wanted to wait until I was in a better frame of mind to write.

I didn't have Thanksgiving dinner. The closer it got, the harder it got, until the anxiety was too much and I canceled. We went to Ohio again, to my brother-in-law's. We took all 5 grand kids and they really enjoyed spending time with their cousins.

We went to the mall one day to take the little ones to see Santa. Crack me up!!!!!  Ava Beth and Rylan went up together. Ava Beth told him what she wanted. Then he asked Ry what he wanted, without hesitation Ry said I want a big woody. So the parents/grandparents in line lost it (one of the grandpas said he wanted one too), Santa was able to keep a straight face long enough to hear the rest of his list which included Buzz Lightyear and the rest of the toy story crew. Then he told Santa that he would leave out cookies and milk, but that Santa really only needed two of them. Just like last year, we finally had to drag Rylan away still talking over his shoulder to Santa. I think next year we should sell tickets for when Ry talks to Santa, because you never know what is going to come out of his mouth.

Last year I did no holiday baking, I just couldn't. Tomorrow the little ones are coming out to help me make cookies. It is time to pass this tradition on down. We will make gingerbread cookies (I believe the recipe is on that page if you are interested). This will be the first time I have made them without Jessika since she was 2. There may be a few tears, but it is time. The girl who cleans and runs errands for me is bringing over her two kids so we will all do it together. She can also take over if the pain (physical) gets too bad. Maybe I will even remember to take pictures.

I am going to try and fix a meal again. However, this will be on the 19th, not on the holiday. So, maybe that will be easier.

Do you have a holiday tradition you would like to share?


1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry I haven't been around, I'm sorry I haven't been here for you. I love you and I promise I'm back and here whenever you need me.


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